


Twelve Days of Shigemas

by embarrassing old stuff from LJ pre-2015 (prevaricator)



Category: NewS (Band)
Genre: Gen, Sillyness, probably implausible timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-24
Updated: 2011-12-24
Packaged: 2018-10-15 12:05:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10556030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prevaricator/pseuds/embarrassing%20old%20stuff%20from%20LJ%20pre-2015
Summary: Shige gets back at the rest of his group for their abuse of his apartment.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For [](http://x5yn4k4x.livejournal.com/profile)[x5yn4k4x](http://x5yn4k4x.livejournal.com/)’s prompt: _Shige seeks revenge on Massu, Koyama, and Tegoshi for trashing his apartment, 12 Days of Christmas style. Not necessarily the song itself with the gifts, but like....one day its one thing, then the second day it's two things type of deal._ Sorry, this got a bit off track and the snowballing just wouldn’t happen. One thing a day is all I could manage. orz

Title: Twelve Days of Shigemas  
Rating: PG-13 for NEWS keeping it in their pants, but thinking about it  
Pairing: (4nin) NEWS gen (hints of various pairings)  
Warnings: Sillyness, probably implausible timeline  
Word Count: 1859  
Summary: Shige gets back at the rest of his group for their abuse of his apartment.  
Note: For [](http://x5yn4k4x.livejournal.com/profile)[**x5yn4k4x**](http://x5yn4k4x.livejournal.com/)’s prompt: _Shige seeks revenge on Massu, Koyama, and Tegoshi for trashing his apartment, 12 Days of Christmas style. Not necessarily the song itself with the gifts, but like....one day its one thing, then the second day it's two things type of deal._ Sorry, this got a bit off track and the snowballing just wouldn’t happen. One thing a day is all I could manage. orz

  
Extra Note: The real twelve days of Christmas actually start at Christmas and go from there, but the first week of the year generally involves spending a lot of time with family in Japan, so I decided to twist the prompt so that it ends on Christmas. Think of it as a half-ass advent calendar, if you will.

The first day, Koyama wakes up to the doorbell and finds a package waiting for him, return addressed to Tegoshi.

He opens it and confetti comes spraying out, sending Nyanta flying from the room with a howl and nearly giving Koyama a heart attack.

When he goes to sweep it up, he finds that the confetti is _sticky_. Sweeping doesn’t work, and mopping just results in little confetti shreds everywhere. Afraid of his mother coming home from a long day at work to see this mess, and not wanting Tegoshi to have the satisfaction of hearing him flustered, he calls Shige for advice.

Shige sounds far too pleased when he says, “I don’t know, that’s never happened to me. Deal with it yourself.”

He hangs up in a huff, and a minute later his phone buzzes with a text from Tegoshi. It reads, _How could you? It’s stuck in Skull’s fur!_ and has a picture of confetti all over Tegoshi’s floor and dog.

And that’s when it hits him. He picks up the box and looks at the address—the writing isn’t Tegoshi’s. In fact, despite its efforts to be bland, it looks quite a bit like Shige’s.

He snaps a picture of the return address and sends it to Tegoshi with, _We’ve been set up_.

In the end, it takes a call to Koyama’s sister to figure out how to get the stuff off.

 

 

The next day, they all gather together for dance rehearsals, and Massu glares at Tegoshi for ten minutes before they realize he got the package, too.

Shige offers no apologies. “At least it came off. Unlike a certain bit of writing on my light,” he says.

Then the choreographer gets there, and they don’t have time to wage war on Shige.

Rehearsal doesn’t really feel all that weird—they’re used to practicing without Ryo and Yamapi. Shige taking forever is old hat by now, and it isn’t surprising when the choreographer gives everyone else a break and demands one on one time with Shige, because they can’t move on until he gets this. Oddly, Shige doesn’t seem particularly disheartened over this, even as the other three leave to go get snacks from the vending machines down the hall while the fussy choreographer drills Shige. Tegoshi is proud of him for finally being determined to improve his dancing and being able to take criticism.

They hang around on the couch by the vending machines, Tegoshi and Massu going over some new TegoMasu songs while Koyama reads information he’s been sent about his next assignment for “news every.”

After the forty-five minutes they’ve been ordered to wait have passed, they go back in and learn more. Shige has only reached barely passable, but nobody is particularly disappointed. At least he’s easy on the eyes, Tegoshi thinks, watching him flail around almost in sync with them in the mirrors. His lack of athletic ability is awkward, but their resident novelist is hot when he’s sweaty.

When they’ve finished for the day, they go to put their street clothes back on. Tegoshi may stare a bit as Shige strips off his practice shirt and uses it to mop at the sweat on his chest, but he catches Massu doing it, too. And Massu is still doing it when Koyama and Tegoshi sit down to pull on their boots.

Tegoshi is just a few seconds behind Koyama in shoving his foot into a boot, so that he hears Koyama’s disturbed half scream just before he finds out firsthand what caused it.

In his boot, his foot meets something soft and squishy at first, then cold and slimy because he’s thrust his foot firmly enough to bust through the first layer. He grimaces and pulls his foot out to find his sock covered in the remains of what looks like a smashed-up cream-filled bun. A short distance away, Koyama is in a similar situation.

Shige and the choreographer are nearly dying of laughter, and since when does the choreographer like Shige enough to help him with this? Tegoshi wonders as he fishes another bun out of his other boot.

The way Massu (spared from Koyama and Tegoshi’s fate because he was inappropriately admiring his bandmate, Tegoshi can’t help but think) gingerly reaches into his sneakers, one at a time, and removes cream buns with his thumb and forefinger is really sort of cute. He shoots Shige a betrayed look, bun in hand, but Shige just snaps a Polaroid.

Tegoshi and Koyama have no idea what to do, so they scrape out the squashed buns as best they can with the towels they brought to wipe at their sweat. If the choreographer weren’t there Tegoshi would just sneak home in his dance shoes, but they’re picky about the floors here. It’s an uncomfortable limp to his car to get home.

 

 

The third day, everyone but Shige’s lunch is a wind-up toy car. When they ask for food, they’re given meat buns with natto and ketchup in place of the meat inside.

It occurs to Tegoshi that Shige must have the help of the staff in this. This must be an ill omen, he thinks.

 

 

The fourth day, Massu, Tegoshi, and Koyama are given bacon-flavored soda in place of water during rehearsals.

The fifth, the contents of their bags are switched around while they’re on break, even though they’d dragged Shige with them.

The sixth, their pants are graffiti’d with “Yes, I’m NEWS’ Koyama/Massu/Tegoshi. I’d be happy to give you an autograph.”

The seventh, they all find their seals for important documents have been replaced with frowny-face stamps (Koyama finds this out only after he’s stamped his on a delivery man’s confirmation sheet).

The eighth, their computers are all overrun with porn, and the sudden lack of unorginality has them all hoping the end of their torture is near.

 

 

On the ninth day, Massu is pretty certain that they’re safe, because Tegoshi’s getting on a plane to go abroad for _ItteQ_ , and so far the pranks have been on all three of them at once. But then he gets home from the gym to find his entire wardrobe has been swapped for a handful of tight-fitting jeans and neutral-colored tight shirts. When he asks his family where his clothes are, just a tad desperately, they give him worried looks. He doesn’t have time to argue—he has an afternoon interview, so he storms off in a brown shirt and tight jeans and a brown pea coat (even his parkas and fluffy coats have been stolen).

Throughout the interview, Koyama and Shige and the interviewer all keep giving Massu funny looks. He picks at his shirt self-consciously, feeling ugly and dull. To make it worse, Koyama is far too cheery to have been pranked today.

 

 

In Costa Rica on the tenth day, Tegoshi opens his suitcase the morning after his flight got in to find that the clothes he’d packed have been replaced with the baggy, drop-crotched sort of pants Massu favors and the women’s peasant shirts that had been popular a few years ago. The pants are neon orange and green, the shirts varying pastel purples. They’re in the muddy jungle, with no clothing stores in miles, so the crew are all attached to their clothes. Worse still, they tell him his clothes from the flight have mysteriously disappeared.

He ends up bribing Imoto for one of her spare schoolgirl outfits for filming, but he has to wear the mismatched outfits in his suitcase on the flight back home.

 

 

Koyama hasn’t been pranked in two days, but that just makes him nervous. Massu’s clothes two days ago had clearly not been his own choice (though he wonders if that was supposed to be a prank on more than just Massu—Koyama’s pants had been tight that day, and not because they’d been replaced), and he’s received an indignant text from Tegoshi, complete with photograph.

Before he leaves for work, he pauses to beg his mother not to let Shige into the house, but she just looks confused, leaving her son’s commute to film a joke PV as a bonus for their next single with his revenge-bent best friend.

And sure enough, he gets there to find that all of the female staff have arrived in loungewear and exercise clothes, hair in all sorts of tousled-but-pretty styles. Everywhere he looks he sees the soft rise of breasts against sweatshirts and T-shirts, the curves of the ladies’ bottoms emphasized by bulky sweatpants.

To top it all off most of them are wearing glasses, many of which are clearly fake.

Before they’ve even finished getting his makeup on, he’s had five unwitting fantasies of sliding his hands up girls’ sweatshirts or down their elastic waistbands for a grope. He can’t help but imagine the makeup artist kneeling down in front of him and looking up over the frames of his glasses.

She notices his blush as she leans back to check her work, then looks down at his crotch and back up, winking. Koyama blushes harder still, knowing his erection is obvious.

His best friend knows him too well, he thinks as he rifles through the clothes on the rack while Shige leans against one and gives him a cheerful grin as he comes to realize there are no long jackets or dangly scarves _anywhere to be found_.

And so he spends the whole filming with what he knows is an obvious lump in his pants, while Shige suffers no such problem.

It isn’t fair, he thinks, that his best friend is so good at winning the staff ladies’ favor when he isn’t even interested in women.

 

 

Naturally, by the time the twelfth day rolls around, nobody trusts Shige’s invitation to sukiyaki. But it’s Christmas and they’re all dateless somehow or another, and going to dinner as a group sounds less pathetic than spending the day alone while their other friends are on dates. At least, that’s why Tegoshi goes, and he assumes Koyama and Massu agree for similar reasons.

Nevertheless, they’re jumpy throughout the meal, expecting to find chocolate in with the vegetables or something unpleasant in place of their beer. Shige laughs every time one of them twitches or examines something completely innocuous, like their chopsticks or the table, but nothing ever actually happens, until eventually Shige dozes off next to them, somehow managing to keep a smug expression on his face.

“I don’t get it,” Koyama whispers, obviously trying not to wake Shige. “Where’s the catch?”

Tegoshi thinks on it, then laughs. “I think the catch is that there is no catch, but we’re all jumpy as crickets because we _think_ there’s one.”

Koyama and Massu both look a bit embarrassed. Tegoshi feels a stir next to him, and looks down to see a grinning Shige looking up at him. The face is too cute for Tegoshi to feel bothered.

“Are we forgiven?” he asks Shige. Koyama and Massu look a little confused, so it’s more for their benefit that he adds, “for messing up your apartment.”

Crossing his arms, Shige says, “If you pay for dinner, you might be.”

 

THE END  



End file.
